Zoo

Never before have I seen

an animal of such tamed freedom

His head rolled back

and his mane followed

as he made the entire world know

that he is the one who can’t be touched

 

Captivity has never seemed so justified

at least from vision from the outside

Or else I wouldn’t have ever known

what it means to be free

 

Such majesty should never be caged

My beauty belongs to no one

and neither should this mane’s

 

Except

Shoulders back and strides long

showing that he’s the king of the jungle

His feet move toe first

Walking in front of the females

to protect them from the horrors outside the walls

That is beauty

 

Beauty refined to three acres

Beauty that soars above all
And sometimes you can hear the cries of the rest of the world

when that loud call cracks like the voice of a teenage boy

That’s when you appreciate your freedom

 

Only when you see what it’s like to be refined

did I understand the importance of my independence

With my head held high

and my feet now making louder noises

to ward of my enemies

because I walk toe first

 

My head rolls back and my hair and bangs follow

as I speak into the microphone
chanting and rallying

Because this mane deserves to see it’s freedom too

And my call doesn’t crack or cry

because I’ve finally seen mine, too

Open-minded

It happened

like a rainbow after the rainy day

Unexpected but somehow beautiful

I always had an idea

an idea that I would leave this place

my family, my home

But nobody ever leaves

Or is it that everybody always leaves?

I was going to be that one

The one who leaves

It was a dream

Something I worked for my entire life

But then it hit me

Clarity hit me

If I were to be hit by anything

I would want it to be clarity

I knew I wasn’t going to be the one to leave

but rather

The one who stays

The one who follows in her mother’s path

Staying in this “small town”

Never leaving

Having the same friends

Always talking about the old times

It came fast and unexpected

but it came with clarity

and clarity always knows when to come

it comes at the best times

in the worst times

So I take it as a sign

I was meant to stay

With my family

in a place I call home

By Chapter 16

Teen angst

Permanently scarred on my left ankle

No eyes but mine linger to

Everything I once did went without consequence

That wasn’t enough

I had to rebel

I had to lose the trust I worked so hard to earn

Something as little as a nickel upon my skin

A tiny planet engraved into my skin

My nails still broken from squeezing a rubber ball too hard

A tiny, inked planet resembled rebellion

Character

My childhood

And somehow

An answer for why I’ve been so lost

 

My childhood is painted on my forehead

Cracked open like a shell

A crescent that appeared when my rickety self

Rocked myself out of a chair when I was six

Cries escaped my mouth

That I’ve never heard before

Not of pain or sadness

Of disappointment

I was six

 

Discoloration lines my thighs and hips

My mother, on her second child

Almost lost her

Flown in from helicopter

She went into labor after five months of being pregnant

Had lost all hope

Four months later

Still premature

Desperate for another child,

The doctor tried and tried again

Discoloring me in the process

 

A surfboard

Caught my foot

Not a wave

Faintness overcame me

I fell in the sand

Awoken in a hospital bed

To the artificial noise of waves

Transported from the beach

 

Craters upon my skin

The makings of puberty

Lines stretch from one hip to the other

From one breast to the other

If you try hard enough

You can feel them

From the outside

Like tunnels under your skin

 

Photos of me don’t exist out there

No mirror knows who I am

By chapter 16

This is me

This is what I live within

Scarred but beautiful

 

Song, Where I Never Could

When you turn your shoulder

Like I never mattered to you before

I watch like eyes against the burning sun

And you fly like an uncaged dove

 

You won’t look back

On the life you once lived with me

I hope you grow

You won’t be held back

Turn your back on those who do

Take yourself where I never could

Where I never could

 

Flowers stained your tailored shirt

I never fixed what I couldn’t heal

You always knew what I was

Making me feel like the cause

 

You won’t look back

On the life you once lived with me

I hope you grow

You won’t be held back

Turn your back on those who do

Take yourself where I never could

Where I never could

Caged Freedom

Never before have I seen

an animal of such tamed freedom

His head rolled back

and his mane followed

as he made the entire world know

that he is the one who can’t be touched

 

Captivity has never seemed so justified

at least from vision from the outside

Or else I wouldn’t have ever known

what it means to be free

 

Such majesty should never be caged

My beauty belongs to no one

and neither should this mane’s

 

Except

Shoulders back and strides long

showing that he’s the king of the jungle

His feel always move toe first

Walking in front of the females

to protect them from the horrors outside the walls

That is beauty

 

Beauty refined to three acres

Beauty that soars above all
And sometimes you can hear the cries of the rest of the world

when that loud call cracks like the voice of a teenage boy

That’s when you appreciate your freedom

 

Only when you see what it’s like to be refined

did I understand the importance of my independence

With my head held high

and my feet now making louder noises

to ward of my enemies

because I walk toe first

 

My head rolls back and my hair and bangs follow

as I speak into the microphone
chanting and rallying

Because this mane deserves to see it’s freedom too

And my call doesn’t crack or cry

because I’ve finally seen mine, too

Minato

Yellow birds coo

at the sight of a juicy worm

 

Moles and mice and rodents alike

still burrow deep under the dirt I walk on

 

Flowers still yet to blossom

as do I from my bed

 

The sky as dark as the water

I wish I was basking on

 

The mountains still mounted with snow

which lingers like the cold in my heart

 

Someday the worms will hide

and the birds will begin to mate

in the wood house I made in my youth

 

The rodents will begin to swarm the subway

causing other to burrow into their homes

 

But not me. I always come back

like the blossom of a flower

1 Revised

I know I’m late for the rebuttal

But I feel no time is more fit than now

When people ask me “How are you?”

All I can say is “I really have no clue”

 

You were my best friend

I lived vicariously through you

You showed me the good things in life

And there’s not a day I don’t miss you

 

Pictures of you still hang on my wall

I think of the fact that I never made it on yours

 

I’m sorry I let you blame yourself for this for so long

In reality, our personalities perfectly collided

I saw myself through you and you saw yourself in me

But I couldn’t allow that, I couldn’t let you become me

 

It was all fun and games until I started getting in my head

You always said what was on your mind and it was a slap to my dread

We were also polar opposites

So what went wrong, it was my b

 

I could never be tired of you and I see you in the halls

You’re doing better than ever

All I want is to give you a call but what good would that do

You’re doing so well and I don’t want to change that

 

I never once could hate you because you made me who I am

I’m fearless and carefree and I owe it all to you

I’m not asking anything of this post because I know you’re doing well

You’re a blessing in my life today and you’ll be a blessing down the road

 

You’re leaving for college soon, the acceptances rolling in

Just remember me as the memories we once had

Not the way I ended things

Remember me through my apology in this poem

 

“Good luck and I wish you the best if we had our last hello and goodbye already

I hope you can accept my attempt at apology

You were the best best friend and sister I could ever ask for”

 

PS. You can keep the toothbrush

 

PPS. What does “1” mean?