When someone asks me about you
I don’t know how to respond
“I really have no clue”
That’s the most unsettling part to me.
They used to call us inseparable
I see things and get reminded of you
Every time I walk in my bathroom
I see your toothbrush
It’s just staring at me
that I messed up somehow
But I can’t get passed the fact that somehow this could have been avoided.
Maybe we weren’t meant to friends forever
It was probably just perfect timing
We each needed someone else to rely on
But maybe you just got tired of me always relying on you
I don’t know.
You probably think that I didn’t appreciate you enough
But that’s crazy
I don’t know anyone who would do half the things you did for me.
I don’t know.
I’ve never connected with someone so quickly.
Just think: I’m pretty sure we only got up to our sixth month anniversary.
Sometimes I hold onto the fact that maybe this all was just a big misunderstanding
You think I stopped talking to you,
but to me it was the other way around
I don’t know
I guess I would rather just blame the new school year and the changes
I knew that I had been replaced
and I felt like it would never be the same again.
I guess I’d like others to know the decision was up to me
Instead of them discovering that I am weak.
I tell people we hung out so much
and we became too alike.
The same person.
I say: “She turned into me”
“and I hate myself”
So that’s why we don’t talk anymore
The thing is part of that statement is correct
Maybe that’s part of it
I could keep writing for hours
But I think it’s time for this post to end
So, just know this:
I know you and your friends probably hate me,
but I do miss you sometimes,
thinking about the time we spent together
I’m not sure if you would agree
because lately it just seems like you hate me.
I’m not asking for anything in this post because I know you deserve better
and better for you clearly doesn’t include me
but as long as you’re happy I’ll leave you alone.
I know you can take care of yourself and you have friends that love you unconditionally.
I’m not worried that you’ll be worried about me so feel free to move on entirely.
I’m going to college sooner than you realize so you wont have to worry about avoiding me.
Good luck and I wish you the best if we had our last hello and goodbye already
I hope you can accept my attempt at apology.
You were the best best friend and sister I could ever ask for.
PS. Do you want your toothbrush back?